in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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