Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
