News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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