Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
