Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize