This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
