my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
this is an emotional support booty call
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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