This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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