you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
