Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
