i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
