12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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