i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
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How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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