Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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