So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Randomize
