my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize