My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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