I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
