I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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