Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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