# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
