Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize