she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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