haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can't talk, ducks in the car
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
