Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am naked and annoyed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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