dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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