the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
