I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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