you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize