it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize