eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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