You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
