do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
