I want to stick my p in your. b.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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