There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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