i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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