cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
