..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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