I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize