Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
