well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
