Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
