can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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