at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
