Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
