census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
