All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We are two peas in an std pod
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
