i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
