I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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