During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
