i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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