Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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