but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize