I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How's your threesome situation going?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.