Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles