my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.