Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
