everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
