Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She even gives head with a lisp.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
