Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
