he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
