And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
