Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
