do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
