Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
